Don't text after Ambien... (AKA "What the FDA Warnings Don't Tell You")

This morning my status said "Facebook and Ambien don't mix". Shortly after taking Ambien, my talk takes a brave turn. Hence the detailed conversation about Christina Aguilera's nearly-exposed anatomy last night.

But if you wait a little while longer, my communication style quickly deteriorates, as the following text with my son clearly demonstrates: (we are going to visit him in a couple weeks)

-----------------------
Jason Swearingen
hey
i tried to respond to your message via email and it wouldnt let me.
Anyway, There's a bar nearby called Moe's Tavern (after the bar in the
Simpsons) that is really cool. It's low-key and the woman who runs it
is super-nice, and they do KARAOKE on sunday nights.

Diane Swearingen
What message

Diane Swearingen
oh no...
oh no...

Jason Swearingen
A few of our friends went last weekend and said it was not very busy
and everyone got to sing as many times as they wanted to
So....hehehehe
Oh yes. That would be awesome.

Diane Swearingen
Be thinking of a song to sing together
I am flying on am ambien jet plane right now

Jason Swearingen
haha awesome

Diane Swearingen
something weird al?

Jason Swearingen
im sure they have weird al

Diane Swearingen
Out michell jackson
Helensburgh
Ha! I mean hehehehehe

Jason Swearingen
hahaha, what?

Diane Swearingen
We must butI require courage

Jason Swearingen
I'm starting to see the effects of the Ambien.

Diane Swearingen
My eyes won't work!
Keyboard is slanted & bumpy

Jason Swearingen
This is the best conversation ever.

Diane Swearingen
Org is, pantry out?
Wait...
Wait.
it is, isn't it?

Jason Swearingen
What?

Diane Swearingen
Best conversation
Half sleep, not responsible for what unfolds

Jason Swearingen
Don't worry. I'm going to save this conversation so I can show it to you later.

Diane Swearingen
Need rio sleep....big boy

Jason Swearingen
Love you!

Diane Swearingen
Hey, I've ambiened sex. Hours mitch more can you you embarrass me?

Jason Swearingen
Hahahahaha. Go to bed, mom.

Diane Swearingen
I love you too sweet baboo

Jason Swearingen
Love you!

Diane Swearingen
Love YOU MORE, so there
Mighty night
Xoxo